Laying stones in memory of the milestones of the millennium

I lay stones for the deaths of friends and family, but also for the death of societies or simple things like integrity.

I remember being told at 46 that I would never get a job in the financial industry again because I was too honest.

I'd known this for a while as during my handover I explained to a colleague that this was a list of the money we'd stolen from clients by accident because an interest marker had been missed on their account. He asked if the clients had noticed. I explained no, I'd found it and had started paying it back, some of it backdated 4-5 years.

He was a relatively new manager so when he asked me if the board were happy I laughed and said of course not. The Finance director was used to me highlighting bad news and a £500,000 hole which should've been spotted years earlier, had turned a mild case of diverticulitis into a perilous case of pereronitis.

Well that's ok for you but if we don't pay it then who will be upset, he asked. Only the clients I laughed and you'll be a star in the boardroom. They'd steal from their grannies and many of them have and I don't just mean a couple of measly Brussels sprouts out of granddad's flask down the allotment.

A week later I asked how he was getting on and he proudly told me he'd binned all my hard work. I jokingly said I had another copy and would forward it to whoever he wanted to do the job. One old granny was actually on the list and due £42,000. He declined, I shrugged and made a couple of the payments myself.

 What this sychophantic fool failed to realise was that our finance director had worked for Maxwell in the past and had paid out redundancy to someone he was supposed to fire on a trumped up charge. He resigned on returning to the UK having done what he thought the right, proper and just thing. 

What I failed to realise is there are many paths. We don't all want to hold back the gargantuan growth we could get if we just ignored mistakes. By spending so much time on reconciliation, correction and compliance we are quite simply employing people in loss making activities. Integrity is a dangerous path to follow. Looking back over your shoulder makes it difficult to move forward. 

I was reminded of a wee reconciliation I'd performed at one of the Scottish banks in the 80's a year after the £600m debacle I helped solve at NatWest. My investigation led me to reconcile an amount of £2000+ that had been written off. It wasn't too difficult and after 4 hours it demonstrated we had overpaid some clients £30k and under invested for £32+ clients. One of them a woman in her 70's. Perhaps a granny perhaps not, but she was due £1800. I resigned shortly afterwards as the local supervisor was very embarrassed to see a temp credit people with the shares that they thought they'd bought. Apparently they needed to pass it up the line despite the deals having already docked.

I don't know what in my psyche said I should break rules because the truth as I saw it was that people had given money to a bank to invest so they should invest it. I guess I felt this ship had not sailed and I've seen it so I can correct it.

I don't know why I thought that I should be an Otto van justice pilot, but it's just how I am. I'm wrong to work in certain environments and certainly any where short changing is a key essential skill.

When I worked in the sweetie shop I always made a quarter pound of wine gums or toffee bon bons, a quarter pound. I tried to get it as close to but always above. That's how I'd been trained. Take a big bon bon out and put a smaller one but never go under. I think I'm just wired that way. Numbers can be correct. It might take time but you can always reconcile. 

It's like the race nights at the pub or the golf club. 3000 tickets bought £1500 paid in prizes £1500 left. Not £1430 because 'I don't know why'. You do know why as you check after each race. It takes seconds. It always balances because humans can make mistakes and checking them ensures they are corrected.

At the end of the day we usually, eat drink and sleep on the Camino and it's good to know the next day will be more honest toil walking followed by the same. 

The gravitational pull of the Camino is something I've accepted. In life it's ok to accept things. You don't need to question all the time you can listen to the teenage fan club no longer upright, and sing the refrain "it's alright" like a lullaby, over and over again.