Having climbed the Oca hills, walked across the vast deforested plateau, Declan and Tommy sallied down the hill out of the forest and past the sunflowers. Their first sighting of San Juan de Ortega was brief. As they strolled round a corner the church tower held a lofty point on the horizon, but not as lofty as the crane behind it. They both disappeared just as quickly as the foliage thickened around the pilgrims before re-appearing much more in focus.
"Roof repairs" said Tommy. "Church and crane are rarely separated on the camino, and I dont mean the nesting storks"
"Yeah, in Ireland its church and state, but here there's a crane on every corner" replied Declan.
The path led past the hostal, with a sign advising you to book your room in the bar. Declan and Tommy had other thoughts. They strolled purposely past the many resting pilgrims, nodding, smiling and uttering the well aired, "Buen Camino" before entering the San juan bar.
"Dos vino tinto por favor" said Declan, "and olives, y aceitunas, por favor." Pilgrims stuttering into Spanish was a rare treat for the hopitalero, "aceitunas!" he replied as he raised a weary smile.
"So Declan, why the 'Hedge'? " said Tommy as the barman poured the vino tinto into tumbler glasses.
"Roof repairs" said Tommy. "Church and crane are rarely separated on the camino, and I dont mean the nesting storks"
"Yeah, in Ireland its church and state, but here there's a crane on every corner" replied Declan.
The path led past the hostal, with a sign advising you to book your room in the bar. Declan and Tommy had other thoughts. They strolled purposely past the many resting pilgrims, nodding, smiling and uttering the well aired, "Buen Camino" before entering the San juan bar.
"Dos vino tinto por favor" said Declan, "and olives, y aceitunas, por favor." Pilgrims stuttering into Spanish was a rare treat for the hopitalero, "aceitunas!" he replied as he raised a weary smile.
"So Declan, why the 'Hedge'? " said Tommy as the barman poured the vino tinto into tumbler glasses.
"Its a long story but I was a student in your neck of the woods and I drunk a lot. I got pissed one night in the wee red bar and stumbled off home on my own. I wish I had made it on my own but I picked up a branch or two on the way."
"Ah! We used to drink milk out of these when i went to school" said Tommy signing as he glugged his wine "so that's why you're called the Hedge"
"I wish!" replied the Hedge as he lifted the olives and his wine and headed outdoors, "...It was even simpler. I woke up with all this foliage in my bed and I had a thought. It's not the most unique thought but it was my 1981 honours thought.
"Next thing I know I'm a hedgie'lante. I retraced my steps as I wanted to know how I'd got home and it wasn't that difficult. I'd come home my usual way but instead of walking into the street to get past the hedges, I must have fought my way along the pavement. There was one hedge on the corner of Findhorn place I must've tried to sleep under and then another very close to home in Cobden crescent. I'd clearly got the huff with these hedges as I'd bent, snapped and tucked the branches back into the gardens from whence they came. Quite a tidy drunk."
"so you're a tree hugger or is it tree mugger, then?" Laughed Tommy as he leaned back and admired the small square in front of the church.
The pilgrims were lounging around largely in the shade, exchanging stories, updating fellow pilgrims on the whereabouts of the many cherished characters. Some were visiting the church to light a candle, others filled their water bottles and moved on towards Ahes, Atapuerca Cardenuela and Burgos. Tommy smiled with the sunshine and his sweet surroundings as the Hedge carried on his story.
"So, I had this idea. If me, a guy with eyes got all scratched up by these hedges, albeit, I was blind drunk, I thought how hard is it for the blind folk. The Blind school is just around the corner and all these people were ignoring their civic duty. I was 20, I had a cause. Free Edinburgh blind folk, let them walk the streets of their neighbourhood. That was me. I got a pair of secateurs and on the way home every night, I'd cut chunks out of hedges. I take a strip and cut it back two feet until it was at the wall. It looked like the hedges of Edinburgh's salubrious south side had developed alopecia.
"You'd be a popular guy" bellowed Tommy as the wine loosened his vocal chords.
"Oh yeah, with the gardeners maybe, not the owners. They were being called out regularly to tidy up after me!"
"Hedge, you're brilliant." Tommy continued leaning back on his chair, munching an olive and draining his glass, then bouncing to his feet. "More vino," he paused, "... you know, I'm thinking back now and there was the guy in the hedge. I remember dropping a car off in Minto Street and seeing some weird topiary. We called it the guy in the hedge. Did you ever do any there?"
"Oh yeah! That was the one that really pushed me on for my degree show. I stood on the wall, cut my self into the hedge and when I emerged it looked good but I couldn't really tell as it was dark. The next day I was all hyped up and I fell out of bed at 8 and had a look. It was brilliant. It was a guy doing a star jump and that was me. I took pictures of it from all angles. I even got on a bus to get the aerial vista. From that moment on, I stopped giving the hedges unruly haircuts and became a hedge'lante. Using the light and shade of the depth, I started looking all round town for hedges I could work on. The coolest ones were when I could do the tops so that you only got the message if you were on the top deck of the bus. The bus thing was really important to me. Only the prols take the bus, and my art was definitely for the prols"
"Its all coming back now I really do remember this now. You made the news didn't you? You were surely the tree huggers Banksy." The barman approached to take Tommy's glass and with a gracious smile he uttered the pilgrims mantra. "Dos Vino por favor, that was lucky eh, saved me walking any further. These guys know its a good 12km stretch from Montes de Oca and really look after you."
"Yeah, all across the camino they just read your mind big man!" Laughed Declan. "I think I beat Banksy, but yeah, same idea. I loved it. My imagination was fired and it started a craze for a few months. Unfortunately any hedge'lante is only able to work during the growing season. As soon as the autumn cut is made the gardeners have got me stumped. I became very rubinesque in the height of summer as my creations looked like they were getting chemo only a week after I'd cut them. The growth in July usually covered my work within 5 days. I really got into it"
"Hi guys, have you seen Danny the crazy Dutchman?" asked Sophie as she dragged a chair out to join the boys.
"Yeah, just 2 minutes ago" replied Tommy, "I gave him a wee wave as he was filling his bottle up. He had that determined look. Head down, find albergue and hit the mattresses by four. I'm guessing he'll be stopping at Ahes, its about 50 minutes, or 40 the way he walks. No sign of his injured toe now, he's back to speeding past us wee jakeys."
"We'll probably head down to Ahes as well, but we're waiting on Jose and Harry, Tommy's pals." added the Hedge.
"Cool, I'll have a drink here, then catch Danny in Ahes. He's a good guy, a bit crazy, but carrying my sleeping bag so I love him. Is the vino any good?"
"Next thing I know I'm a hedgie'lante. I retraced my steps as I wanted to know how I'd got home and it wasn't that difficult. I'd come home my usual way but instead of walking into the street to get past the hedges, I must have fought my way along the pavement. There was one hedge on the corner of Findhorn place I must've tried to sleep under and then another very close to home in Cobden crescent. I'd clearly got the huff with these hedges as I'd bent, snapped and tucked the branches back into the gardens from whence they came. Quite a tidy drunk."
"so you're a tree hugger or is it tree mugger, then?" Laughed Tommy as he leaned back and admired the small square in front of the church.
The pilgrims were lounging around largely in the shade, exchanging stories, updating fellow pilgrims on the whereabouts of the many cherished characters. Some were visiting the church to light a candle, others filled their water bottles and moved on towards Ahes, Atapuerca Cardenuela and Burgos. Tommy smiled with the sunshine and his sweet surroundings as the Hedge carried on his story.
"So, I had this idea. If me, a guy with eyes got all scratched up by these hedges, albeit, I was blind drunk, I thought how hard is it for the blind folk. The Blind school is just around the corner and all these people were ignoring their civic duty. I was 20, I had a cause. Free Edinburgh blind folk, let them walk the streets of their neighbourhood. That was me. I got a pair of secateurs and on the way home every night, I'd cut chunks out of hedges. I take a strip and cut it back two feet until it was at the wall. It looked like the hedges of Edinburgh's salubrious south side had developed alopecia.
"You'd be a popular guy" bellowed Tommy as the wine loosened his vocal chords.
"Oh yeah, with the gardeners maybe, not the owners. They were being called out regularly to tidy up after me!"
"Hedge, you're brilliant." Tommy continued leaning back on his chair, munching an olive and draining his glass, then bouncing to his feet. "More vino," he paused, "... you know, I'm thinking back now and there was the guy in the hedge. I remember dropping a car off in Minto Street and seeing some weird topiary. We called it the guy in the hedge. Did you ever do any there?"
"Oh yeah! That was the one that really pushed me on for my degree show. I stood on the wall, cut my self into the hedge and when I emerged it looked good but I couldn't really tell as it was dark. The next day I was all hyped up and I fell out of bed at 8 and had a look. It was brilliant. It was a guy doing a star jump and that was me. I took pictures of it from all angles. I even got on a bus to get the aerial vista. From that moment on, I stopped giving the hedges unruly haircuts and became a hedge'lante. Using the light and shade of the depth, I started looking all round town for hedges I could work on. The coolest ones were when I could do the tops so that you only got the message if you were on the top deck of the bus. The bus thing was really important to me. Only the prols take the bus, and my art was definitely for the prols"
"Its all coming back now I really do remember this now. You made the news didn't you? You were surely the tree huggers Banksy." The barman approached to take Tommy's glass and with a gracious smile he uttered the pilgrims mantra. "Dos Vino por favor, that was lucky eh, saved me walking any further. These guys know its a good 12km stretch from Montes de Oca and really look after you."
"Yeah, all across the camino they just read your mind big man!" Laughed Declan. "I think I beat Banksy, but yeah, same idea. I loved it. My imagination was fired and it started a craze for a few months. Unfortunately any hedge'lante is only able to work during the growing season. As soon as the autumn cut is made the gardeners have got me stumped. I became very rubinesque in the height of summer as my creations looked like they were getting chemo only a week after I'd cut them. The growth in July usually covered my work within 5 days. I really got into it"
"Hi guys, have you seen Danny the crazy Dutchman?" asked Sophie as she dragged a chair out to join the boys.
"Yeah, just 2 minutes ago" replied Tommy, "I gave him a wee wave as he was filling his bottle up. He had that determined look. Head down, find albergue and hit the mattresses by four. I'm guessing he'll be stopping at Ahes, its about 50 minutes, or 40 the way he walks. No sign of his injured toe now, he's back to speeding past us wee jakeys."
"We'll probably head down to Ahes as well, but we're waiting on Jose and Harry, Tommy's pals." added the Hedge.
"Cool, I'll have a drink here, then catch Danny in Ahes. He's a good guy, a bit crazy, but carrying my sleeping bag so I love him. Is the vino any good?"
